I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
