no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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