And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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