i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize