I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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