remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
