We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
