Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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