I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
