I faked an abortion last night.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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