do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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