the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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