Screwed.edu
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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