you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
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I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink