Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere

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(214): View more from Texas

I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(386): View more from Florida

Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...

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(807): View more from Ontario

If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

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(831): View more from California

Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.

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