A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....