Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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