I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
