Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
