Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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