I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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