I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
