i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
