He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i love accidental penises.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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