38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
