her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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