The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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