What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im holly from the hills drunk
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
