Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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