Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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