if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
