dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
