Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can I color on your dick again?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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