Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just invented taco cereal.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
