what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
