party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love having hate sex.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
