so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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