Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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