the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
