he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
