this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
