Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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