As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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