Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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