I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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