my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
