AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize