i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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