i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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