"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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