SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
