you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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