My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
