dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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