I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
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she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She bit a glass in half.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
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There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.