Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?

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(734): View more from Michigan

I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.

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(214): View more from Texas

So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She bit a glass in half.

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(716): View more from New York

Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.

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