Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl