Please, let me fuck your mom
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.