There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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