note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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