yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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