this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
