looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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